Japan's Gift to the World

I can't explain it in words. Just watch the video...

It's so legit, it's scary. There are fanclubs and cosplayers and OMFG they have COSPLAY MEETINGS!
Why?
Ugh, how can you begin to rationalize this game? I just...

I give up.


And yes, I am currently saving money to buy this game.

My Priorities Are Whacked

Hello minions.

I need to get my priorities straight. But I guess it's just... hard to do.

For example: I could be getting words in on "Write This Down". Instead I spend it writing detailed stories about my Skyrim characters' lives, specifically my totally boss necromancer High Elf Arch-Mage.
In the actual PC game, not my rp, that is.
I think I mentioned to Mania, or maybe even on my blog, that something is seriously wrong with that. Not in of itself, but I have the most complex backstory ever for my PC character Tamaros, the aforementioned awesome choclatey super duper-y necromancer on the PC game than any of my actual rp characters. I mean, what I write for him is really not going to make an overall difference. It won't affect the game or the character or his interactions with people. It's just for... me?
IDK.

Also, as I may also have mentioned, I like to wind down from the drama of my super-dee awesome rps like Were Myths and Aisthesis with really blah-blah mediocre sites that I can just relax in and breathe easy. Right?
WRONG!
It used to be that camp half-blood site I mentioned where SOMEHOW, my character ended up being the son of Sesshomaru (yes, that guy from Inuyasha) and there were demons and angels and stuff. (like, why?)
But that got killed by webs because it went over bandwidth (I warned them, but nay, they would not listen). So I recently got involved with warrior cats rps.
You heard me.
Warrior Cats RPs.
The bane of any self-respecting rpers existence.

Now, the problem with them isn't really the sites themselves. A lot of those sites, especially Hazelstar for example, are really neat, actually. They bring quality to the rp table. And let me tell you, those guys aren't afraid to kill off characters.
Like wow.
They REALLY are not afraid. o.o
I joined up and like, three cats died by my first rp post. And then at the one cat's funeral, her dad was listing in his head all the relatives she would meet in StarClan: his mate, his sibling, his three or four previously killed children.
Their StarClan page has more cats than all four Clans combined. And those were all characters from former members, not just specifically made for StarClan.
I digress.
One of the things that gets to me is the density of some of their heads. I'm not going to name people... I don't think, but they just don't pay attention to what's being said very well.
We got into a discussion about what constitutes "stealing". Apparently the site owner changed the News/Blog page to the catchy name "The Daily Mews".
And then one of the admins was all like "oh noes, she stole that from another site!"
Here's what went down:

ADMIN: the daily mews? thats a stolen idea from another site
Me: she may have gotten permission to use it...
PERSON: Oh..
ADMIN: thats why I wanna talk to her
ADMIN: trust me, sites are MEAN. especially when it comes to ideas like that
Me: it's not that terribly original though. I mean, "mews", "news"...
PERSON: It slows my Mac down when I went on that page..
ADMIN: ive been on 50+ sites, it is...

(SIDE NOTE uh-huh... so, I've been on five times that amount and I've seen a hundred characters named John... is that stolen material too? Come on... "Mews", "News"? It's not THAT original!)

PERSON: Lets hope people don't start reporting the site o-o
Me: Honestly though, it is just the title of the news page. it really doesn't matter. Even if only 1 out of 50 sites call it that. It's not like she stole an actual site or character or something. It's just a name.
ADMIN: you have no idea how vicious people get
Me: um, yes I do actually (seriously, I do... >.<)
ADMIN: you owned a site and nearly lost it 3 times?
(seriously? you let some douchebags get the best of you? ever heard of the BANISH BUTTON? or the REPORT BUTTON!? Or emailing the webs team????)
PERSON: Just drop it until Velvet gets on
Me: I've had my sites viciously attacked, yes. I never had the issue of losing them, no. I also have had my ideas stolen before, as in legitimate original ideas, like a whole new race of supernatural beings where their info paragraph was copied word for word by a former member of mine for their site. And I'm not saying she shouldn't change it, if only so that a bunch of hormonal eleven year olds won't get their panties in a bunch, but it's not actually stealing. That's all.
ADMIN: well im trying to prevent that from happening -4- after all its my job
Me: Yah, I'm agreeing with you.
PERSON: Drop it. You'll both be in trouble if Velvet was to come on to this.
Me: o.O
(for AGREEING?????!!!)

OWNER: Allow me to read through this disagreement really quick.]

Me: there was no disagreement...

OWNER: From my position it is. I will change the name and it is not to be brought up EVER again. Understood?]

(WHY?!)

Do they just... not read what I type or...
Seriously, I was only saying that she didn't steal it. I wasn't arguing. Why do people take shit so personally >.< Disagreeing would be me saying "Oh yah, she totes did not steal, like, she INVENTED it. And people are totes nice. We should just leave it there."
I was just trying to keep the Owner's record clean by adjusting the word choice. The Owner did not steal a name as dumb as "The Daily Mews". No one cares. And if some jackass gets their wedgies on just because she named it that, whatever. All our shoutboxes require people to log in before posting. She can just ban the members. They can't actually do anything, except maybe spam the cbox, but no one even pays attention to that thing. So... who cares?

WHOOOOOOOOOO CAAAAAAAAAARES?

NOBODY!

Exactly.

So I think that is what really gets to me. The density of these people's minds, the idea that healthy relationships = rainbow sunshine let's all get along. No. We are a bunch of random people from a billion walks of life. There will be disagreements. There will be misunderstandings. Don't jump to conclusions just because you didn't bother actually reading what I wrote. That's YOUR fault.
And that's all I'll say about this subject.

So, Stuff

19:03

Today I haven't been very productive in anything. I had horrible headaches all day. Our area has really freaky pressure changes, so the actual county has "Migraine Watches" because of it. Doesn't help that our area is also plagued with a horrible stomach flu. I haven't caught it, I don't think, but still.

So now I am working on the gijinka/avatar site. Getting things organized and what not. As well as finally adding a chatango box and all my characters, most of whom need their bios finished.


19:49

giratinacel (7:42:40 PM): Cel: *goes to Maddox and hands him a present* Here o.o
dreadknightmare (7:42:54 PM): Maddox: o.O *rips open present*
giratinacel (7:43:47 PM): Cel: o.o *it's a stuffed kitteh* I made it with my powers...
dreadknightmare (7:44:45 PM): Maddox: o.o *falls to floor, curls in a ball* *batman voice* MY KITTY.
giratinacel (7:45:40 PM):
o.o OMG DX
Cel: o.o ... may I have some glomps?
dreadknightmare (7:46:35 PM): Maddox: only if you come down here to get it
giratinacel (7:47:16 PM): Cel: *flops to the floor* There. o.o
dreadknightmare (7:47:32 PM): Maddox: *awkward, one-armed side glomp*
giratinacel (7:47:49 PM): Cel: o.o this is awkward...
dreadknightmare (7:48:14 PM): Maddox: I got a kitty. Deal with it.

20:54

(me singing Habits by Tove Lo): I've gotta stay high, all the time~
PickleBunny: What kind of high? Like being up high..?
Me: Uh, no. It means drugs. It's not a good song, but I like singing the chorus. *sings* I've gotta stay high, all the time, to keep from missing you~
PickleBunny: *major sarcasm* Well maaaaaybe, she should just get over it instead and move on.

9 years old and she's infinitely smarter than most adults. #soproud ;__; *tears of joy*

Playing Around With Stories

I have been playing around with story ideas and adding them to my plots folder. And of course when I do that I wind up making cover for them for wattpad already. I tend to count chickens before they hatch or whatever.
I just like making covers, and I have nothing better to blog about today. =P

Adapt to Regret

Ashley Fraiser is a mess. A superhero with one eye, no past, a heart full of hope, and the ability to adapt to anything that comes. But nothing on the outside really matters, because when the heart fails, that is when one finds the true heroes and the true villains.

Yush, a book about my superhero Ashley Fraiser from Mania's site Alignments. I had some rather horrible scenes playing through my head of what would truly make a horrible, horrible superhero movie (horrible as in depressing and dark and awful, not as in it sucks). I keep finding superhero stories that are funny or whimsical or stupid, and lately, a lot of the modern superhero films and shows (especially Arrow and The Flash) are just crap. So I wanted to bring something dark to the table.

I'm addicted to HIM. I can't get enough. HE gets into my veins, plays with my brain, eats my every thought. I love it. I love HIM till death do us part. But HE never wanted this. Now HE is trying to get out. But I won't let HIM. I will never let HIM. He is mine. Forever.

FOREVER

It's not about drugs. It's about obsessions. Specifically obsessions over a person, and just how dangerous it can be. It's told from the viewpoint of a (currently unnamed) MC who is addicted to someone. MC is so deluded and in his own world about everything, ugh, so crazy. Definitely a story that will keep questioning its own reality.

SIDE NOTE, 12/15/2014: Just wanted to point out; Filigree did have a story idea about addictive blood and an rp character whose power is that people get addicted to him by touching him. This is not about that. It's a realistic story (no super powers or vampires) and it's about a cult leader who is worshipped like a god against his own will. So rest assured, no stealsies! 

"Stay As High As You Can" is a story idea I came up with last night, which eventually led me to go on a tangent and write this massive, confession-type blog post about my own life that I'm saving but never putting up here.

It's about a girl who finally ends a long term, abusive relationship and all the crap she does to try and feel something again. More or less from my own point of view and about my own life if I had made some drastically different choices.

I don't know how this will go. It's just in the planing stages atm. Probably won't ever write it, at least not anytime soon.

Yay! Write This Down. Yall know what that is by now (I hope). I just randomly made these three covers... yes, they are the same, just different colors. I like these colors.

All my covers for Orpheus Rising. I know I put up at least three of these five up, but here are all of them together. The last two really are my favorites.

Cel's Amazing Skills

Cel is an amazing artist. She may not have a computer and special tablet and things, but I think that's where the real skill comes from. Cause with a computer program, you can save different versions of the thing, do lots of edits later, change things around, press the redo button, etc. Hand drawn and colored, whole different story.

So anyway, she did drawings of her own characters, and then we came up with scenes of our characters interacting for her to draw, then I got three character commissions from her (first ever o.o wow) So without further ado, here they are!

They are out of order, but oh well. Again: click them for full resolution.

Alice Draeyva and her Satellite, Enethar Goth from the site Were Myths. Hers is Alice, mine is Enethar. Alice Draeyva is a weredragon Princess and Enethar is a werephoenix. We have not rped them a ton, but something is definitely developing between the two. 

I love the flames and the ribbons and the flames on the coat, and omf, I love it!

All the Draeyva siblings with cool swords! All Draeyva are weredragons. That's how they role. On the left, we have Kieran Draeyva, rped by moi. Top is Adrian Draeyva, rped by Liam. Bottom is Alice Draeyva, rped by Cel.

The Draeyva plot is currently the biggest, most badass plot going right now. It is a continuation of the plot Liam and I first ever played out back in, oh, 2011 or 2012, whichever year that was when I first made Were Myths. It is tweaked because of new characters, and things turned out differently than the original rp, since I had gotten the brilliant idea to delete all our former rps when I remade the site *facepalm*. But it has turned into a massive plate of epicness.

I really hope we can eventually move on to other plots and characters, cause Katie and Crystal definitely feel excluded, poor things. I feel bad. ;-;

Temujin and Hana from our Last Airbender Gijinka site!

Temujin is a Whimsicott and Hana is a Shaymin. They are brother and sister and live on a Whimsicott farm with their parents Zuko and Katara.

Yup.

Lots of stuff and epic adventures planned for these two. The war is forcing them to leave their parents and go to Ba Sing Se for their safety, but will they ever arrive? That's the question, aint it?

I will talk to death about these two.

Alice and Enethar Goth, again. But this is from the vampire site made just for them called Kuro. Kuro was made after we both watched the (OMFGBESTANIMEVER) Kurozuka. 

Alice is a beautiful, sweet vampire girl being oppressed and used by the psychotic and obsessive vampire master Minstrel. But during a war in France, she comes across Enethar Goth. 

HORROR AND BLOOD ENSUE!

The lyrics are from the song 'Still Doll' by Kanon Wakeshima. But we go with the male version (remember my rant about dropping pitches and my favorite voices?) The song fits SO WELL, seeing as the song begins with "Hi Miss, Alice", and her name is Alice. I always imagine Enethar singing it to her.

And there's blood, cause, yah know. Blood is perf ^^

*note: I edited it slightly to bring out the color and make his eye glow-y. I can't resist glowy eyes.

This is a commission for my character Nameless who is a fourteen year old, soulless amnesiac from our rp "Soul Thieves". She roleplays a little village girl named Angelus.

*note: I edited in the scar. The original design was not quite how I imagined it, and even still, I just, ugh! I can't envision his scar for some reason >.< One day...

This is Maddox from our private rp "Perfect Experiment". He has heterochromia and a massive scar over his nose to his forehead. He won't say how he got it ;) He has no superpowers, but he carries around a heavy duty pistol that he kept during a bizarre game of Russian Roulette that left him the only survivor, to remind him that life is full of unexpected circumstances and can be stolen at a moment's notice. He feels in control when he has the gun, only to remember how out of control he really is.

Alice and Enethar. The vampires of course. 

I forget what song I was listening to, but I was listening to something, (probably the Still Doll song), and I told Cel I could see Alice and Enethar dancing to it under a chandelier decorated with corpses of their victims, and they dance in the blood that rains down.

So of course she draws them being all cute ^^

What a wonderful party, Enethar!

*note: edited to bring out colors. Her poor scanner does not do these beauties justice.

So, she asked me "what should I draw?" and like the above, I responded readily.

"Enethar falling asleep with Alice, surrounded in a pool of blood." I said maybe he ate a horse or something.

She added the lyrics. I forget what the song was called, unfortunately. But it's so sweet. ^^

Yay! Another commission! This is Kuro, my Yveltal gijinka from our Last Airbender Gijinka roleplay. He is a Shadow Clan warrior of the Eyrie, but he pretty much does his own thing. He is always going at it with the Air Monk Jinsei. xD

At the moment, he just saved her life. Maybe he does care...

I think the scanner cut off their feet...

Anywho!

Maddox and Celeste. It's so purdy!

Maddox needs an outfit. Like a legit outfit. I intend to draw him one some day soon.

This was an adorable picture of Alice Draeyva and Enethar Goth, back in the early days of the ship, before we actually made them an official couple or gave them Kuro. On Were Myths, their relationship is still up in the air, as we abandoned our shifters for vampires xD

She has more amazing pictures of her characters HERE! Go to her album and share some love ^^

A Not So New Anime

14:04
So I started watching a not-so-new anime last night, and so far, I think it's pretty good. It's called Basilisk. It is based on the manga of the same name, and from what I have read, it follows the original storyline almost exact, save for a few added scenes to expand on character backstory and a finale scene to wrap everything up at the end whereas the manga finished after a battle. It ran in 2005 with an older looking animation, featuring lots of intense eyebrows.

But weird eyebrows and fugly old people aside (oh god, they draw the old people so... omfg, they're so fugly) the plot is pretty awesome. Here's what's going down (courtesy of wikipedia):

The story takes place in the year 1614. Two ninja clans, Tsubagakure of the Iga and Manjidani of Kouga, battle each other to determine which grandson of Tokugawa Ieyasu will become the next shogun. The deadly competition between 10 elite ninja from each clan unleashes a centuries-old hatred that threatens to destroy all hope for peace between them.

It's reminisce of Naruto, but for mature people who want intricate, linear plot and more believable characters with actual signs of development.
I first saw it back when, oh, when I was twelve maybe. My brother and I had stuck closely to Naruto and Bleach, which were our first stepping stones into anime. But then we went on a limb and tried Yu Yu Hakusho. We were so excited to be branching out, so we pulled up some anime lists. We tried out some stuff, and eventually found Basilisk. But after the first episode, we just thought it was too weird. We didn't really get what was happening. So we moved on and found Moribito, and then I branched out and discovered Rourini Kenshin, Vampire Knight, Wolf's Rain, and Shugo Chara (yes, all at the same time). My brother and I pretty much went our seperate ways in anime. He stuck to the popular stuff, watching Bleach and Naruto, Naruto Shippuden, and Inuyasha religiously till their endings, then went to One Piece. I stopped watching anime and focused more on rp and writing. When I got back to the anime scene, it was with Avatar: The Last Airbender (not really anime, but whatever). Then I tried Fullmetal Alchemist. Loved it. And I launched myself back into the anime world, sticking to obscure shows offered for free on hulu.com. Which was the best thing ever, since it kept suggesting Phantom: Requiem for a Phantom, which stands to still be my top favorite anime show of all time.

So that was a bit of a tangent, but anyway: last night I was updating my "Anime I Have Seen" list, and then remembered Basilisk. Well, I actually liked the first episode, and I have decided to give it a proper go. So here we go! ^^


14:32
Also wanted to mention, Basilisk also has some great music.

17:36
Cel keeps drawing amazing pictures of our rp characters, so I shall be dedicating tomorrow's post entirely to her drawings ^^

My Private RPs Are Stealing My Soul

15:46
So I started doing private rps. Basically it's just where me and another member want to go off and rp some storyline or other by ourselves, and y'all aren't invited xD Sort of like Kuro, for those of you who know about that one. Except, I am not always making a separate site entirely for that private rp. That would be ridiculous. So, I just made one site and put all my private rps there thanks to the magical organization of proboards.

But now private rps are stealing my soul. They're just so much quieter and nicer, and I guess that just means I need a break from my big ones like Aisthesis. But I'm not going to take a break. I need to rp on Were Myths and stuff because all the plots in my head are driving me insane. I should really write stuff down...

Speaking of Write This Down, I am taking a much needed mental breather. Then I will be spending January PLOTTING! I really need to write out character bios and flush out my chapter plots a little more. I should have done that before NaNo, back in good ol' October, but I had no idea I would be choosing Write This Down, so I did not bother. At least I will be better prepared for the next NaNo, or Camp, whichever I choose.

Dumb Powers and Russian Roulette

1:51
So, I've decided that I am definitely going to have a character who can shapeshift into a mountain. Dumb powers are so much fun. Especially since the majority of my characters always have these intense, serious powers, you need SOMETHING to be a goof with.

If You Can't Beat Em, Join Em, Can't Join Em, TROLL DEM ALL!

2:38

So Mania and I hopped onto Roblox and went to Warriors New Lake, which is an awesome Roblox game if you want to kick around a Warriors setting.

But we did not come there to kick around, we came to troll.

We were both ghostly, Dark Forest cats. My name was Cavitous Butteous and hers was Fancy Feast Fancier.

At first, we were in an empty area since all the other cats were doing a legit rp over at ThunderClan. We mostly chased each other around, talked like kindergarteners, and ate weed (catnip, it was catnip, but same difference, right?)

I thought it was fun. I chased her around and screamed, " GIMME YO WEED, WOMAN!"
I found my own and talked about dragons. I also talked about bacon and weed and being stoned and ran up to two random cats and shouted, "HI POSERS!"
Mania just liked to jump around and wear the catnip like a mustache xD

She got bored, because unlike certain servers (like Island of Mezaa's srius biz SandPack) these people could care less about what the global chat told them, they were only interested in their rp and not that we were trippin balls.

So we teleported to ThunderClan, like legit in the middle of their freakin deacon camp where all 20 people were, and we did a line-by-line rendition of the Bohemian Rhapsody. One person applauded (but I think they were just grateful that we were leaving)

Still, I had fun. Thanks for the fun times, Mania. ^^


2:42
In other news, I am 6 posts away from beating the (omfg, srsly?) 69 posts of 2013. I was sincerely hoping to get higher numbers this year, and it looks like I will. Maybe one year I will actually have nearly 365. (I say nearly, because considering that LARP, camping, travel, and certain other activities may not give me wifi, I won't be able to legit post every single day. It's called LEIF people, or Life... one of the two. Don't ask me how to spell. It's friggin 2AM, sheesh).

Edgar Allen Poe Gone Ghetto

Kshi showed us gizoogle, which basically generates all text into freaking, deakin ghetto speak. And nothing made me laugh harder than reading Castiel's Edgar Allen Poe bio turned gangster.



ORIGINAL

Alpha

Castiel

Stats Are Unknown

His aura has gone completely white and doesn't smell like anything.



LOST LETTER WRITTEN BY EDGAR ALLEN POE. RECOVERED FROM AN UNUSED BANK VAULT IN BALTIMORE, MARYLAND AND ADDRESSED TO A CERTAIN DR. JOSEPH E. SNODGRASS. THE RETRIEVABLE CONTENTS ARE AS FOLLOWS:

To My Dear Friend Dr. Snodgrass,

Forgive me my dear friend for coming to you with such terrible burdens as are my afflictions, but I cannot possibly condone myself to cease in telling you all that is happening to me. You think me mad, and rightfully so. I thought myself to have passed all sanity when those frightful words left my lips, but please, please my dear friend, do not stopper your ears to my voice. I beg you hearken and take into account what I am recording for you here in my letter. I pray you understand that I have never been insane. I have not the madness of hatters, though I am indisposed to become mad should this nightmare never cease to plague me. I am close to the end, my dear friend. It is only a matter of time, I know that now. So I write to you in earnest and with a pleading heart that you will be open to all that I shall now tell you.

It started three summers ago in June. You remember do you not? I daresay I hope you do. That day has stuck with me so long. It was the summer we journeyed to visit the strange ring of stones in Stonehendge. And you were so cross with Virginia for giving water to the horses right after our ride. Remember? I'm sure you will, as you shall remember it was the start of all these horrors.

I had gone off alone, don't you remember? I followed the winding road by that lovely green hill, the one I pointed out to you on our first ride. I followed that path all the way down to the bottom of the hill, and there it was. There was Stonehedge. I walked all the way there without stopping to take in the morning air and observe all that nature could unbind in such early hours of the day. I walked betwixt those stone columns, marveling at what hands could fashion such a creation. And there it was. Oh god, why did I have to see it! I'm sorry, dear friend, I write with passion and emotion. Do know I write sober.

I saw the writing on the rocks. I know now it must have been writing. Long, spindly, shadowed scrawl that dipped and weaved between the cracks and crevices. I saw that forbidden, unearthly writing and I felt drawn. Drawn to it! I felt an indescribable hold on my heart that dragged my soul screaming from within me and into those rocks. And a voice from somewhere dark and foul, for where else could such a voice come from, whispered to me quietly and mournfully. It whispered to me in a language I did not know but did not have to, for the meaning of those archaic words were so clear, engraved inside my very skull. Come! A terrible impulse swept over me and I threw myself to the rocks. All things rational abandoned me. I clawed at the rocks with my bare hands. I pounded and hit and clawed, as if I were digging into golden grains of sand and not solid, immovable earth. I do not remember much of that, for as I said, all things rational escaped me, and for a moment, my mind must have escaped me as well.

What I do remember is after my madness. I awoke to shadows and darkness. Fearful, I rose and surveyed my surroundings, but no eye could breach that oppressive black. I felt cold, hard earth under my hands and began crawling across it, hands and knees. I felt along the passage, my fingers grazing against stone. I perceived myself to be in some sort of cave or equally deep bowel of the earth. How I happened upon it I know not, though my confused mind began scrambling to put the pieces together and come to terms with a suitable explanation.

Then there was a soft, heavenly glow. So subtle and dim it truly was, but after the darkness it was more blinding than the sun. I shielded my gaze, almost afraid to look upon it. But momentarily my sight accustomed to the light. I looked about, relief flooding my body at the prospect I had found some form of exit to the surface. Those feelings despaired and died when I found that no such exit had opened to me. I had blundered into a large cavern. Before me was a pool of water most blue. The rock rippled with the shadows and reflections of that pool's odd light. Indeed, the pool was the source of light. I do not lie or make pretenses. I tell you, my dear friend, that pool was glowing with light.

And this my dear friend is where even I fall to confusion, for my memory of the dealings hereafter are so muddled and troubled that I can scarcely write them illegibly even now as I dare to recall it. In that strange pool, I found a boy. Not a child, but he seemed so like a boy that it is the only way I can place him. He had such a gentle face. A face that could not hold all the darkness that he really was. He was crouched in the middle of that pool. Crouched there, staring at me. He looked unnatural, but beautiful. I never describe living creatures as beautiful except perhaps the animals or my sweet wife, but he had such an unnatural beauty about him. He was strange, oh yes. His skin was pale like a rich lady and his face devoid of any conceivable blemish. His shoulders, the only other visible part of his body were disturbing. Flesh that was knotted and roped with scars. His ears were pointed. His hair was like lavendar. But his eyes! His frightful, terrible eyes. I shall never forget them. They were made of death. Death! I am rambling, I am talking foolishness. No, no I am not. I am frightened and passionate but I am not mad. I am only afraid. I cannot think of those eyes. Oh god, those horrible eyes. Those eyes wanted me. They wanted to tear me apart. Those eyes wanted to kill and they wanted to die. Death! Death! They were made of death I tell you!

And then he stood. He stood from the water and approached me. He was whispering to me. Whispering unending. A single word, no two, but they were one. His voice was so soft and sweet that I felt tears rise in me. That word. That word that has haunted me for so many years. "Nevermore" That is what he said. Over and over again. Nevermore. Nevermore. Nevermore. He kept whispering and approaching. He reached out to me as he came closer, and those hands; they ended in claws! The claws of beasts, the claws of things that are not men. And I was so frozen in fear, I could only cower there in awe and in pure, abject terror. My blood had turned cold, my heart refused to beat properly. He came to me! He came to me and, oh god, he-


THE REST OF THIS LETTER HAS BEEN LOST. MANY HISTORIANS HAVE LONG SINCE PROPOSED DIFFERENT THEORIES AS TO THE CREDIBILITY OF THIS LETTER. SOME SAY IT WAS ACTUALLY THE BEGINNING OF AN UNPUBLISHED SHORT STORY. MOST BELIEVED HE HAD GONE MAD. THIS LETTER HAS BEEN STORED IN THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS AT THE DISPOSAL OF PROFESSORS AND STUDENTS FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA.

______________________________________________

THE NEW AND IMPROVED GHETTO POE


Alpha

Castiel

Stats Is Unknown

His aura has gone straight-up white n' don't smell like anything.


LOST LETTER WRITTEN BY EDGAR ALLEN POE. RECOVERED FROM AN UNUSED BANK VAULT IN BALTIMORE, MARYLAND AND ADDRESSED TO A CERTAIN DR. JOSEPH E. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SNODGRASS. THE RETRIEVABLE CONTENTS ARE AS FOLLOWS:

To My fuckin Dear Hommie Dr. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Snodgrass,

Forgive me mah dear playa fo' comin ta you wit such shitty burdens as is mah afflictions yo, but I cannot possibly condone mah dirty ass ta cease up in spittin some lyrics ta you all dat is goin down ta mah dirty ass. Yo ass be thinkin me mad, n' rightfully so.. n' you KNOWS mah dirty ass ta have passed all sanitizzle when dem frightful lyrics left mah lips yo, but please, please mah dear playa, do not stopper yo' ears ta mah voice. I beg you hearken n' take tha fuck into account what tha fuck I be recordin fo' you here up in mah letter n' shit. I pray you KNOW dat I aint NEVER been insane. I aint tha madnizz of hatters, though I be indisposed ta become mad should dis nightmare never cease ta plague mah dirty ass. I be close ta tha end, mah dear playa yo, but it ain't no stoppin cause I be still poppin'. Well shiiiit, it is only a matta of time, I know dat now, nahmeean, biatch? Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So I write ta you up in earnest n' wit a pleadin ass dat yo big-ass booty is ghon be open ta all dat I shall now tell yo thugged-out ass.

It started three summers ago up in June. Yo ass remember do you not, biatch? I daresay I hope you do. That dizzle has stuck wit me so long. Dat shiznit was tha summer our laid-back asses journeyed ta git on over ta tha strange rang of stones up in Stonehendge fo' realz. And you was so cross wit Virginia fo' givin wata ta tha horses right afta our ride. Remember, biatch? I be shizzle you will, as you shall remember dat shiznit was tha start of all these horrors.

I had gone off alone, don't you remember, biatch? I followed tha windin road by dat ghettofab chronic hill, tha one I pointed up ta you on our first ride. I followed dat path all tha way down ta tha bottom of tha hill, n' there it was. There was Stonehedge. I strutted all tha way there without stoppin ta take up in tha mornin air n' observe all dat nature could unbind up in such early minutez of tha day. It make me wanna hollar playa! I strutted betwixt dem stone columns, marvelin at what tha fuck handz could fashizzle such a cold-ass lil creation. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. And there it was. Oh god, why did I gotta peep dat shiznit son! I be sorry, dear playa, I write wit boner n' emotion. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Do know I write sober.

I saw tha freestylin on tha rocks. I know now it must done been writing. Long, spindly, shadowed scrawl dat dipped n' weaved between tha cracks n' crevices. I saw dat forbidden, unearthly freestylin n' I felt drawn. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Drawn ta dat shiznit son! I felt a indescribable hold on mah ass dat dragged mah ass beatboxin from within me n' tha fuck into dem rocks fo' realz. And a voice from somewhere dark n' foul, fo' where else could such a voice come from, whispered ta me on tha fuckin' down-lowly n' mournfully. Well shiiiit, it whispered ta me up in a language I did not know but did not have to, fo' tha meanin of dem archaic lyrics was so clear, engraved inside mah straight-up skull. Come biaaatch! A shitty impulse swept over me n' I threw mah dirty ass ta tha rocks fo' realz. All thangs rationizzle abandoned mah dirty ass. I clawed all up in tha rocks wit mah bare hands. I pounded n' hit n' clawed, as if I was diggin tha fuck into golden grainz of sand n' not solid, immovable earth. I do not remember much of that, fo' as I holla'd, all thangs rationizzle escaped me, n' fo' a moment, mah mind must have escaped mah crazy ass as well.

What I do remember be afta mah madness. I awoke ta shadows n' darkness. Fearful, I rose n' surveyed mah surroundings yo, but no eye could breach dat oppressive black. I felt cold, hard earth under mah handz n' fuckin started crawlin across it, handz n' knees. I felt along tha passage, mah fingers grazin against stone. I perceived mah dirty ass ta be up in some sort of cave or equally deep bowel of tha earth yo. How tha fuck I happened upon it I know not, though mah trippin mind fuckin started scramblin ta put tha pieces together n' come ta terms wit a suitable explanation.

Then there was a soft, heavenly glow. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So subtle n' dim it truly was yo, but afta tha darknizz dat shiznit was mo' blindin than tha sun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I shielded mah gaze, almost afraid ta look upon dat shit. But momentarily mah sight accustomed ta tha light. I looked about, relief floodin mah body all up in tha prospect I had found some form of exit ta tha surface. Those vibe despaired n' took a dirt nap when I found dat no such exit had opened ta mah dirty ass. I had blundered tha fuck into a big-ass cavern, so check it before ya wreck it. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Before me was a pool of wata most blue. Da rock rippled wit tha shadows n' reflectionz of dat poolz odd light. Git tha fuck outta mah grill wit dat bullshit, tha pool was tha source of light. I do not lie or make pretenses. I rap , mah dear playa, dat pool was glowin wit light.

And dis mah dear playa is where even I fall ta mad drama, fo' mah memory of tha dealings hereafta is so muddled n' shitd dat I can scarcely write dem illegibly even now as I dare ta recall dat shit. In dat strange pool, I found a funky-ass boy. Not a cold-ass lil lil pimp yo, but da perved-out muthafucka seemed so like a funky-ass pimp dat it is tha only way I can place his muthafuckin ass yo. Dude had such a gentle grill fo' realz. A grill dat could not hold all tha darknizz dat he straight-up was yo. Dude was crouched up in tha middle of dat pool. Crouched there, starin all up in mah grill yo. Dude looked unnatural yo, but dope naaahhmean, biatch? I never describe livin creatures as dope except like tha muthafuckas or mah dope hoe yo, but dat schmoooove muthafucka had such a unnatural beauty bout his muthafuckin ass yo. Dude was strange, oh yes yo. His skin was pale like a rich lady n' his wild lil' grill devoid of any conceivable blemish yo. His shoulders, tha only other visible part of his body was disturbing. Flesh dat was knotted n' roped wit scars yo. His ears was pointed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time yo. His afro was like lavendar. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. But his wild lil' fuckin eyes muthafucka! His frightful, shitty eyes. I shall never forget em. They was made of dirtnap. Dirtnap! I be rambling, I be rappin' foolishness. Fuck dat shit, no I be not. I be frightened n' horny but I aint mad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be only afraid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I cannot be thinkin of dem eyes. Oh god, dem wack eyes. Those eyes wanted mah dirty ass. They wanted ta tear me apart. Those eyes wanted ta bust a cap up in n' they wanted ta take a thugged-out dirt nap. Dirtnap! Dirtnap! They was made of dirtnap I rap , nahmean biiiatch?

And then da perved-out muthafucka stood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Dude stood from tha wata n' approached mah dirty ass yo. Dude was whisperin ta mah dirty ass. Whisperin unendin fo' realz. A single word, no two yo, but they was one yo. His voice was so soft n' dope dat I felt tears rise up in mah dirty ass. That word. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! That word dat has hustled mah crazy ass fo' all kindsa muthafuckin years. "Nevermore" That is what tha fuck da perved-out muthafucka holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Over n' over again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Nevermore. Nevermore. Nevermore yo. Dude kept whisperin n' approachin yo. Dude reached up ta me as his schmoooove ass came closer, n' dem hands; they ended up in claws muthafucka! Da clawz of beasts, tha clawz of thangs dat is not men. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. And I was so frozen up in fear, I could only cower there up in awe n' up in pure, abject terror. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. My fuckin blood had turned cold, mah ass refused ta beat properly yo. Dude came ta me biaaatch! Dude came ta me and, oh god, he-

December First... Yay?

December First. Should I be excited? Not sure. It definitely marks the end of NaNo and a countdown to Christmas. Meh.
I got up at 6:30 to take the dog out in sleeting rain. She just wandered around sniffing the grass, watching the neighbors, and listening to the ice crack under her paws. So I froze my butt off for nothing. Whoop dee doo. Overall, not an eventful day at all.

A RANDOM RAMBLING FEATURING TWILIGHT: BECAUSE THIS NEVER GETS OLD

I read this hilarious post about Twilight exuding Mormon beliefs. I actually wrote a reply to defend that Twilight was not reflecting Mormonism. Not because I like Twilight (y'all should KNOW that by now) but because it was so ridiculous, I just could not resist. Literally COULD NOT resist. Also, I wanted to defend Robert Pattinson, because he apparently brought it up by saying:

“I think people make up all these Mormon references just so they can publish ‘Twilight’ articles in respectable publications like the New York Times. Even Stephenie said it doesn’t mean any of that. It is based on a dream.”

While we all know the iconic tale of how Mormon book lover Stephanie Meyer's wet dream brought upon us this accursed abomination, I think people are totally in the wrong to say that obviously a=b and Twilight=Mormon just because they could pull some obscure references out of their butts.

I picked the following articles and wrote the appropriate responses to completely rebuff everything they said. I'm shocked that Twilight fans did not bother defending their beloved tome. Here I am defending it for no other reason than it was too funny for words to read what these people wrote.

http://www.beliefnet.com/columnists/flunkingsainthood/2010/07/yes-robert-pattinson-there-are-mormon-themes-in-twilight.html

MY RESPONSE

It appears that the author is terribly misinformed about vampires and Twilight in general, so before any more articles like this get out, let me point out a few things:

1. ALL vampires "live without death in a resurrected-like state". And especially in modern literature, vampires are now commonly described as "godlike" and "inhumanly beautiful." (see Vampire Diaries. Stefan and Damon: am I right?) In fact, the majority of teen lit sells every main hottie as "inhumanly beautiful". I guess that means every single guy in teen lit is Mormon now.

2. The angel bit? Really? That's reaching pretty far. Of course she doesn't see him as "any more glorious". Every teen girl thinks that of their boyfriend. Also, does that make zombies angels too? Cause by that description, they would be. Zombies are resurrected beings of flesh and bone. So are Draugr in Skyrim. Fus Ro Dah angels! Fus. Ro Dah. (thank God the draugr don't have wings...)

2.5: A sparkly stalker does not an angel make.

3. Marriages are sealed for eternity? That's pretty much a widespread belief, not exclusively Mormon. Heck, even hawks and eagles and a few other animals do it to. Are they Mormon too now? And every starry-eyed girl thinks they and their boyfriend's relationship will be eternal. Seriously. Go into any high school and look for the girl who gloms to her boyfriend like a barnacle. Ask her about her and her boyfriend's relationship. 

4. Native Americans having Bible names... That's really not a Mormon thing either. Millions of Christians do it too. When whites colonized places, a lot of the peoples took on Biblical names or were given Biblical names. Sort of how Asians will sometimes take on Western names when visiting English speaking countries (especially if their name is hard to pronounce, as seen with Jackie Chan). Back then, Biblical names were the most popular to do since there was a large plethora to choose from, and the whites respected such names. Even Pocahontas took on the name Rebecca when she came to England. English names spread in popularity, and are still seen around multiple countries today. Names like Jacob and Rachel are likely to be found among Nat. Americans, rather than names like Mckenzie or Dustin, and unless the reservation is very traditional, they probably won't have as many traditional Nat. American names as you would expect.

4.5 Every single traditional leadership passed from father to son. EVERY SINGLE FREAKING ONE! If a son was not alive, then the next, closest living male relative. And saying "Well, it's a spiritual thing for the Quilletes" does not help your case. It's a fantasy/paranormal/supernatural/vampire/werewolf book. Of course something magical/spiritual/special has to be happening. Take the weird imprinting with a baby thing for example.

5. Making the decision to overcome the "natural man" is not a Mormon belief, it is a Christian one, a Buddhist one, etc. Every religion out there points out where there is good and evil. Typically, good stuff equals happy time in a happy afterlife (or perhaps pure enlightenment in Nirvana) while bad stuff equals sad time in hell or related afterworlds. It is every man's struggle to overcome the evil in EVERY religion, not just Mormon. I suppose I'm Mormon now since I'm trying to be good. Wow.

6. Agency is not a Mormon belief. It is an obvious path every human takes. We make choices every single day despite our circumstances. It's what made Dr. Ben Carson, a black ghetto born man, to become a highly respected pediatric neurosurgeon, instead of a criminal like the path most people born in ghettos choose. Sad but true. Or how about Stephen Hawking, who, rather than sink into depression and give up, developed technology that would power him through his illness so he could continue his work. Think about that. Just because Mormons put the concept of "life choices" on paper and gave it a fancy name like "Agency" does not mean they have copyrighted it. 

In conclusion: please provide solid evidence that there are "Mormon beliefs in Twilight" rather than using references that are SO vague, I can connect them to anything. Until then: Twilight is not connected to Mormonism.

"Fans sit enraptured as Bella continues her quest to be part of an ideal LDS family that mates for eternity, has regular Family Home Evenings, and is headed up by a benevolent patriarch and a gentle homemaker."

Girl, that's everybody's American-pie dream. Stop copyrighting every good thing on this earth as Mormon. Soon, car washes, birthday cakes, puppies, and twirling noodles with your fork will become Mormon principles. Sherioushly. Just stahp. STAHP!


NEXT ARTICLE:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/24/mormon-influence-imagery_n_623487.html

Of course I had to pick the huffington post. That BS is full of great laughs xD
LOL: "It's possible that Meyer never set out to weave Mormon imagery into the 'Twilight' background. Yet intentional or otherwise, it's hard to ignore..."
Hard to ignore my pasty white butt, more like.

MY RESPONSE

- Avoiding alcohol and tobacco? Um... yes. I actually do that too. I swore that off long ago. For health reasons. For the longest time, I swore off tea and coffee too because I read about drinking that stuff affecting the adrenal gland and how you can burn it out. As I got older, I realized that it only happens if you drink copious amounts for long periods of time.
Eating less meat might be a reference to all the iron in her body making her lethargic, something she exudes spectacularly.
Just because you swear something off does NOT mean you are a Mormon. You could just be normal... or health conscious.

- Work ethic and traditional women roles? Holy crap! NOOOO! How dare she keep the house clean! Curse her! Her and all the orthodox Pentecostals and the Amish (protestant and mennonite) and the traditionalists and the Muslim and the... well, just about EVERYONE I guess... and curse me too while I'm at it for doing household chores and "traditional women roles". Maybe she likes to have clean dishes, or perhaps sewing up the holes in those socks will help keep her feet warm.

- Quick marriage and pregnancy? That's the most common trope of teen novels, especially those written by thirteen year old girls. Just look up the majority of fiction or fanfiction on Quizilla (wattpad's deformed second cousin). By the end of the book, they married their boyfriend and had twenty children in roughly the span of a year.

- Um, this has nothing to do with "Nat. Americans joining the Master Race" *cough*. This reminds me vaguely of the Talmud, a religious book of laws by Pre-Christian era Jews that said having sex with babies and marrying nine year olds was perfectly legit. (sick, sick crap)

- Naming Jacob "Black" has nothing to do with skin color. First: you just spent all this time talking about Nat. Americans and the connections to Twilight with that, now you're saying it's about the blacks, who are the cursed, evil race in Mormon belief (though they deny this adamantly even though their book says it's true multiple times). You can't go changing the racist tune like that, you can't. Either red or black. Pick one. Second: Have you ever looked at Indian last names? Moon, Bear, White, Hill, Reed, Green, BLACK (listed 84th most common Native American and Alaskan Indian name by the US census of the year 2000). http://names.mongabay.com/data/indians.html
Black is 84th. Aka: it's common. Plus it sounds more Indian than the first name on that list which was Smith. She could have easily named him Jacob White, which would probably make you start preaching white supremacy till the cows come home.


Now, a lot of people say that "Well, Stephenie Meyer is Mormon, so her beliefs leak into her work." Not really. I have some very, very strong beliefs about things, but you probably won't be seeing that in my work for the next twenty years at least. (filter definitely comes off at 72. YOLO.)